TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust isbroken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trustleads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity andenmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. Sheanswered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, sheHeard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from myHusband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutualtrust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephoneoperator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERSA man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successfulmarriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-lawanswered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings orwhen she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of hershortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid oflosing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look aroundto find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. Weshould always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the otherfour fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive others, others willignore our mistake too.CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested"I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDUofficer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite,humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing toaccompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if Idon't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion forconversation and be silent when I want to rest."The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television.
"There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blindwife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults ofthe husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Manycouples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetualperfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off,they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. Thenightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERINGMany relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, ordemands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer alland their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually,this is not the case.
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaningthat "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person'scharacter." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation onchanging the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech willeither prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because ofwrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forgetmutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if itwould hurt the other party.A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. Aworker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."
On the way home, her millionairehusband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wifeof a construction worker." She answered, "You shouldappreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire andnot you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a badrelationship.
BE PATIENT This is a true story which happened in the States.A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, histhree-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of thetruck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy'shands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed hisson to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save thecrushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy'shands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, heinnocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "butwhen are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committedsuicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wishto take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone ulove. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't.Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and theperformance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions wetake while in a rage will haunt us forever.Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient. Forgive & forget. Loveone and all. If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
